Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire!
“Relax, she’s just a friend,” your boyfriend tells you. Of course, you’ve heard this before and get that twinge of suspicion as usual. Not to mention, he’s always running late and never bothers to apologize. Then there is the constant gazing in the mirror, flashing himself sexy smiles. At first you thought it was “interesting”, even endearing to a point—but no longer. It’s been a few months since you first started dating and lately you’ve been getting the feeling that he’s not exactly telling you the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
These signs are not just coincidence; they are, in fact, some classic signs of a cheat. The excessive mirror gazing – that’s a good one; research has found that liars tend to have an extreme obsession with their looks. Therunning late with no apology – that’s another sign. Liars and cheats tend to be self-centered, never remember important dates like birthdays or anniversaries and always seem to run late.
While it’s often thought that men are bigger cheaters than women, the ladies are just as guilty. You’ve heard it before, “but babe, it’s a girls night out, no guys allowed.” To be fair, she may be telling the truth, but maybe not.
So how do you tell a liar, even when it’s is only a little “white lie”? Body language, voice tones, emotions and even sentence structure can give a liar away. But, it’s not easy. Body language has a lot involved; there is no one gesture or facial expression that’s a dead giveaway.
To help you figure it out, we’ve come up with ten tips to help spiff up your liar detection IQ:
Listen for the voice becoming higher pitched or thinner than usual
Look for excessive shuffling of feet or scratching of hands
If a story is being told, the liar will spend most of the time re-telling the body of the story in an overly detailed, chronological way (vs. an honest storyteller who spends equal time telling the introduction, the body and the conclusion)
Be careful if the person you suspect of lying is too good looking (yes, we know, this is a tough one). Eye candy are used to being looked at and so tend to be more confident and convincing
Take notice of blushing, doodling, twirling of pens etc.
See if they avoid physical contact
Look for subtle facial movements such as twitching and mini gestures (fast blinking, brows may twitch or cock up, slight movement in the mouth, cheeks and eyelids)
Fidgeting is a dead giveaway–liars will often drum their fingertips on a table, entwine them together or tap their toes
Look for the left hand going up the face, near the eyes, left ear or mouth
Check the “windows to the soul” or eyes—eyelids that are closed more often than usual, sad ayes combined with a sparkling smile, shifting eyes
So here’s the beauty about these tips: they work for both guys and gals. Neither sex has a corner on shadowing the truth. However, ladies beware: research shows men tend to lie more (geez that’s new, right?) Yes, men might lie more, but women lie as a replacement for saying “no”, and that my friends, happens quite often.
Guys, here’s what the girls might say when they really just mean “no”.
“Let’s just be friends”
“I’m not dating at all right now”
“I’ve got a boyfriend”
“I’ll call you sometime”
“I’ve been really busy lately”
So yes, we all know that girls lie too and it’s just as sneaky. But what if you are the liar? Now you know what the other side is looking for. This article is not meant to give you tips, but we know it does. You’ll now make sure you don’t fidget or make sure to make physical contact. But really, it will take practice – from both sides. If you are the liar, let’s just call you out… be the better person, and don’t go there. But if you do, there are still certain reactions you can’t help–pupil dilation, patterns of breathing, sweating, swallowing and blushing.
So next time you find yourself lying or you’re on the other side and suspicious, know that there are signs that give the liar away. If you’re on the receiving end, practice looking for these signs and gear up to dump someone. If you’re on the lying end, remember that lying may get you somewhere at first, but it won’t get you far. Telling the truth is playing it safe, but more importantly, you’ll avoid being the jackass when discovered and that alone may be worth telling the truth.
Tammy Jean Morales